Been a while....283

Well it's been a while. I've had a rollercoaster in my life the past few weeks. But, I'm going to try to see that as a time to start caring for myself more and what I want and less of what would make everyone else happy. So with that being said I'm starting fresh. Half the year isn't even gone yet. I still have plenty of time to make good on losing weight. So starting fresh......283.0 I'm going to set a goal of 275 by June 20th. I think it's do-able. If I make it I can treat myself to a pedicure....so lets see what happens.

Resolutions suck!

Well first off resolutions suck! I've done a shitty job of keeping up with this blog. I've tried to think of good things to write over the past week. But, the only thing on my mind is guy trouble's and I'm sure nobody wants to read about that all the time. Then, I promised to give my weight every Friday and I didn't do that. Last week Friday I weighed 287.5. So with that said still fat, still single, still alone.
I have been eating much better. I haven't gone out to lunch at work since the first of the year. Bringing a sandwich and a piece of fruit everyday for lunch. I use to go out to lunch everyday. The hardest part is sitting in a breakroom for an hour. Once the weather warms up it will be nice because then I can go sit outside or at a park. I'd like to atleast get out of the building for a bit. Well I can do is try harder.

As for the boy problems not gonna say much about it today. I wish I just had some balls to say something. He's been kinda quiet since the questions from friends about us came out. We have plans this weekend, but the past week or so has been different and strange. I hope all goes well and it's not too uncomfortable.

“All I know is that you love me...in my dreams.”

The Chronicles of a Fat Girl

Well, New Year's is right around the corner. I hate New Year's...sure the booze is great, but the midnight kiss I dread. It seems like every year I am the token single girl in a group of couples. Then there is the dreaded resolution, which every year is to lose weight. Well if I ever followed through with that I wouldn't have started this blog to begin with! So thinking about next week is making me nuts. And I had the great idea to start this blog. I always thought of people with blogs as strange until today. When I realized that this maybe the best way for people to say what they want to say with anonymity, and honesty of not being directly judged. Sure some of you reading this will not agree with what I have to say, or may bitch about by grammar, and spelling. However I DON'T CARE!!! I can desided that this is the one place where I am going to be myself. I'm not going to try to be the funny girl, or the happy go-lucky girl. The girl who goes out of her way to make everyone happy and not herself, who wants to word to think that she is living the perfect life. Nobody is perfect, this I do know. But sometimes I think if only I were skinny my life would be different. So my goal is to keep this blog for 1 year. To say what is on my mind and maybe have someone listen. To introduce my "real" self to the blogging world. Maybe starting here I'll be able to move that into my life with my family and friends. And, as always my New Year's resolution - lose weight, but this time I'm going to add, find happiness within myself.