282.0

282.0 _ honestly I can't make this stuff up!!! Same 'ol same 'ol blah blah story!!!!!

Realize

Take time to RealizeThat your warmth isCrashing down on meTake time to realizeThat I am on your sideWell didn't I, didn't I tell youBut I can't spell it out for youNo it's never gonna be that simpleNo I can't spell it out for youIf you just realizeWhat I just realizedThat we'd be perfect for each otherAnd we'll never find anotherJust realizeWhat I just realizedWe'd never have to wonderIf we missed out on each other, nowTake time to realizeOh oh, I'm on your sideDidn't I, didn't I tell youTake time to realizeThis all could pass you byDidn't I, didn't I tell youBut I can't spell it out for youNo it's never gonna be that simpleNo I can't spell it out for youIf you just realizeWhat I just realizedThat we'd be perfect for each otherAnd we'll never find anotherJust realizeWhat I just realizedWe'd never have to wonderIf we missed out on each other, butIt's not the sameNo it's never the sameIf you don't feel it tooIf you meet me half wayIf you would meet me half wayIt could be the same for youIf you just realizeWhat I just realizedThat we'd be perfect for each otherAnd we'll never find anotherJust realizeWhat I just realizedWe'd never have to wonderIf we missed out on each otherJust realizeWhat I just realizedThat we'd be perfect for each otherAnd we'll never find anotherJust realizeWhat I just realizedWe'd never have to wonderIf we missed out on each other, nowMissed out on each other nowMissed out on each other nowMissed out on each other now

282.0

Well I weigh the same. At least it's not going up. But I am so frustrated. I'm not drinking, not eating out, AND now I started walking 2 miles everyday. When will it catch up?!?!?!?

We I had a pretty good week. Not much new really going on, but I spent all day last Sunday with my crush. It just feels right. We get along and agree on mostly everything. We have so much in common, seriously it is kinda sickening. Tuesday we went out a for a bit to celebrate the good ol' Irish holiday!!!! Irish car bombs are not my idea of a good time. Green beer is very yummy though, come to think of it I like all beer!!! Saturday we had a birthday party for a mutual friend, and headed to that together.

How can other's call us the dinamic duo to our face, yet we don't take it farter?

282.0

282.0 well nothing really happened weight wise. But, it didn't go up! That is a good thing right?!?!

282.4

282.4 - Down a bit. I've tried really hard this week. I think my new goal may be to loose 15 pounds by the end of lent and not give up the drinking? I'm gonna try for one more week and see what happens.

Only the lonely

Loneliness: is a feeling where people experience a powerful surge of emptiness and solitude. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person.


I've been so lonely lately. As I sit here now I'm in tears. Crying for over an hour, unable to stop. How can I be lonely? I have an awesome group of friends, and a wonderful family. But just like the deffinition says I feel so empty. Like something is missing. I almost feel like I want someone or something to just put there arms around me and hold on. Not letting me push away. I'm good at putting up a wall, pushing away. I want everyone to think I have my life together. I don't want them to know I have faults. But, I do, and they know. I'm usually the caretaker. I make appointments for people and give them reminders of where they need to be. But no body takes care of me. Why do I feel like a loser for saying that I want someone to take care of me, to worry about me?

I know that skinny doesn't fix anything. I'm still the same person right? But what if it does? What if I was a thin person? Does that mean I wouldn't be the outgoing, bubbly girl I am now. Would I have been more quite, reserved? What if it mean's my personality would have been even bigger, and louder then it is now? I just feel like I have to much to offer everyone and if I was a thin person I would be in a better place. I relate it to everything. I wouldn't have quit school, I would have had a better job. I would have my own house, and a better car. Maybe been married with kids. But at the same time I know my life could be worse. That I am lucky for all that I have. It just hurts to not have someone to talk to. To not have a friend that can relate. And everytime I try to explain they tell me I'm nuts "skinny wouldn't change anything."


The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved. - Mother Teresa